That saying is oh so true in so many different ways and applications. In this reference I'm talking about my health. My health over the past three to four weeks has been shoddy at best. One minute I'm whistling Dixie, and the next, I'm head first into a world of pain. Seriously, within 30 minutes I can go from having a great day with a little twinge to being in seriously crippling pain. The weird thing is, is that it's not an identifiable pain. It's not something that you can say, ouch my arm hurts because I lifted weights for several hours the night before, no, it's the weird phantom pain that you feel but you know you can't really feel.
It's been hard on me and on my job because when it starts to come on and when it's actually there it totally blows out my concentration. I can't think clearly and I can't focus on tasks as readily as I should be able to. All I can think about is how I want it to go away and debate on whether or not it's going to get worse and at which point do I take the pain killer the doctor prescribed. Understand that I don't like taking any medication or pills, whether prescribed or not. It's just my thing to not want to take anything like that. I mean sure, I take a multivitamin daily but that's the extent of what I want to take. I prefer things to run their natural course and don't like to take things that aren't.
I dunno...it's just been rough trying to continue doing normal things, hanging out with friends, taking pictures on the weekends. It's like having someone nagging you constantly. Sometimes you can deal with it and put it out of your head. Other times it gets to the point where you can't focus on anything else and all you care about is getting them to shut up. You're less prone to want to go out in public areas because you don't want people looking at you weird and that it's so much easier to just deal with it at home.
I know I need to figure out what's going wrong. I've already gotten blood work and an MRI done and both put me in excellent health, but if I'm doing so well, why am I doing so bad? I know the next step is to escalate this to a neurologist, which I plan on doing when I get my new insurance set up and running, but I just hope that they can figure out some definitive answer. I'm not hoping for something to be wrong with me, I don't need an excuse or an escape route, I'm just tired of doctors saying that I'm weird and that they are just "ticks" and I'll have to learn to deal with them. That's their nice way of saying, "I don't have a frigging clue with what's wrong with you but thanks for playing and have a nice day!"
I dunno...I just want to be better and not be in pain anymore. :\
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